Day 1, Friday: The Bicycle Bandit overshadows Day 1 of my diet

I was not two sentences into this, my very first day of diet blog, when I heard a suspicious thump outside my front door. Normally I wouldn’t recommend unarmed females dash off to investigate suspicious noises, but it was fairly early in the evening, and I have, since childhood, been emboldened with an absurd and unfounded sense of invulnerability. Also, I suppose my courage has for too long been bolstered by the fact that we live in a run down house surrounded by dozens and dozens of fancy condominiums. I was under the impression that rapscallions and robbers alike would be lured away from our garage sale shack by all the fancy things owned by the fancy people who live in those fancy condos. Anyways, as I am not naturally a cautious person, I dashed, with careless haste and reckless abandon*, right out the door in search of the source of the suspect noise.

Like a cloud of foolish ignorance, I popped outside just in time to witness a tall camo-clad black man (I mention this, reader, only in the off chance that one of you comes across this villain) whisk away my husband's old, but high-end mountain bike. In a futile attempt to thwart this bicycle bucanneer's theivery, I yelled "HEY!" as loud as I could, and took after him in my bare feet. Because I can run faster than bike pirates. Oh, wait, nope, that’s Jesse Owens. The bike, and any hope of retrieving it are gone.

On a brighter note, the police showed up less than an hour later, restoring a tiny bit of the faith I long ago lost in anyone and everyone connected with the Fulton County Government. Oh, and, according to Adam - who apparently CAN run faster than a bike pirate, had HE, been here, he would have tackled our scoundrel and retrieved the bi-wheeled booty. To those ladies out there who aren't lucky enough to have such a man, I cannot begin to impress upon you how reassuring it is to have a husband with such skillz.

I apologize for my digression, but man, I can’t stand thieves. Sheesh. Back to the point at hand. Today’s diet:

I woke up late so no breakfast for me. This is actually okay, since Adam reminded me at 10:30 last night that I wouldn’t be able to eat anything delicious for the next thirty days, and I would I like to make the frozen pizza in the freezer? Well heck yes I did! That late night gluttony kept me pretty full all day until 2:30.

I couldn’t help but think that I needed to add some “spice” to my diet, so I stopped at the grocery on my way home from work and, after much deliberation about what flavor I could eat for 30 days straight, bought some Kroger brand Creole Seasoning. I also bought a head of cabbage, which is, surprisingly, high in vitamin C. I’m particularly concerned about the Big C, since I don’t have dental insurance and don’t want to lose my teeth.

Together, these came to $1.64:

This leaves me $0.85 left to spend for the next 29 days.

So no breakfast. For lunch I had a 2 oz. serving of Oriental Style Rice Noodles, with some Cajun Seasoning. For a snack I had two cabbage leaves, and for dinner I had a 2 oz. serving of Oriental Style Rice Noodles, with some Cajun Seasoning. Okay, not too well rounded. But I’m just not that hungry today. Day 1 down, not too bad if you forget about the whole bike theft.

Oh, and I should go ahead and say that one of the main differences between myself and the original experiment is that I am entirely too lazy/inept to calculate the exact amount of food I eat, and to the penny what each day costs me. I figure if I’m out of food in the end I ate more than $1 a day.

*I heart adjectives and, to a lesser extent, adverbs. I also am a big fan of the comma.