The older I get, the more it seems the days quickly turn to weeks, and months become years. It is a decade since I graduated high school, but it feels like just yesterday I was crouched between cars, puffing away on my Newport cigarette hoping Oakie, the creepster campus police officer, wouldn’t catch me.
High school flew by, followed by undergrad and law school. Nights out at the clubs in Canada, sorority functions, pulling all-nighters to make up for skipped classes, they all passed without my even noticing. Now, its been almost two years since I finished school, and time has not slowed.
Until now. The past nine days have been an f-ing eternity, and twenty days from now might as well be twenty years. I wrestle from minute to minute with the mundane. Should I eat more green pea mush for dinner or bang my head against this concrete wall? (I reluctantly chose the green pea mush)
Perhaps I need to revive some of those excitements of childhood. Maybe I’ll steal a pack of cigarettes or smoke a joint in the Wal-Mart bathroom.
For those readers who may be interested in eternal life without the burden of a restricted diet, I've included this coupon I found off the internet
And this one for the bread of life. In case you get hungry.